SECOND DAY

dear diary,

   today was..I don’t know. it’s bad. but the end of it not that much. it’s so hard to pretend that you’re okay, that you’re having fun with the people around you. ah basta. di pwedeng di ako mag-end up sa isang tao kagaya ko, yung simple lang yung di masyadong friendly??? hahahaha ang weird ano. basta I just want someone to have deep conversations with, yung hindi ako mapapagod kasama siya. sana gumawa ng paraan ang tadhana na makasama ko siya at maka-bonding siya. kasi di ko talaga kaya mag-isa. it’s really hard talaga. charot. also, today umuwi ako with Leanard. He’s a cool guy. Gentleman, smart, and has passion for anything theater. I really do hope na maging close kami. I feel like hindi siya mauubusan ng interesting na mga kwento. 

okay so ano pa ba. I noticed something. they’re not quite comfortable talking about sad things like depression and shit like those lol. I guess they never experienced it buong buhay nila. well I hope they never have to suffer the way I did cause that shit’s not cool. not. at. all. they’re pretty fortunate. no wonder theyre so happy go lucky. however, gusto ko naman sana na may makaintindi sa’kin. guys wala bang malawak ang empathy dito??? I wanna feel not alone?? hahaha. buti pa si julia huhu gets ako lol. she even gave me a hug dati when I opened up to her the first time. I miss her. I hope she’s fine.

anyways, don’t know kung sasali akong free theater workshop. i’ll talk to my mom and my sister muna about this. God, I hope things work out soon!!! sana mahanap ko na magiging best friend ko for the whole academic year!! cuz like im gonna die lol.

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